The Wedding Test
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating
for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one
little thing bothering me… It was her beautiful younger sister. My
prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was
near me, and I always got more than a nice view.. It had to be
deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered
to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t
overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married
and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and
couldn’t say a word.
She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last
wild fling, just come up and get me.’ I was stunned and frozen in shock
as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then
turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door,
and headed straight towards my car. Low and behold, my entire future
family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.’
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Senseless Guzzling
The United States consumes by far the most gasoline, a staggering 346 million gallons per day in 2003, the latest year for which data are available. By comparison, Japan and China, the next two biggest consumers, together use less than a quarter of that total.
Gasoline consumption by the United States vs. the 20 next largest gasoline consuming countries in millions of gallons per day.
Find out more here.
Pointless iPod
If you feel a senseless need to listen to 40,000 songs or watch up to 200 hours of video - then you need not look further than the iPod classic which have up to 160GB of storage; more so than even my notebook!
If you are senseless salivating now over this news - then check it out here and you can also knock your senseless thick skull silly with its all metal design when you get one …
The First Remote Control Ever Invented …
Even though there’s an element of truth in this (duh!) I still think this is so degrading to women. This is a pointless question but what do you think?
X-Rated Church Signs
Perhaps I’m the one who has a dirty mind but I think these church signs are positively pornographic! This is a pointless question - but what do you think?
Be Strong Honey …
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:” Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain . . . Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
His wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.”
Hello Kitty Contact Lenses - Hello Senselessness …
I don’t understand this madness about the fondness for “Hello Kitty” merchandises and this Hello Kitty Contacts is definitely not in any way going to help me in my understanding of this pointless and senseless object. *sigh*
Slapped, Kicked & Killed for Not Wearing A Headscarf???
UNCALLED FOR: Nadya (left) and her friend show their police reports.
First two 17-year-old girls in Kuching, Malaysia were slapped and hit on the head by a discipline teacher for not wearing the ‘tudung’ / ‘hijab’ (headscarf) to school and then in a Toronto suburb, Canada a 16-year-0ld school girl was killed by her devout Muslim father for not wearing one. This is pointless, senseless and mad.
What can one add to this except perhaps that religious madness is not confined to the middle east alone. Sad and completely senseless.
Visit Italy Year 2008?
But certainly not Naples which believe it or not, is buried in rubbish! What with over 100,000 tons accumulate in the city and surrounding region; buried might be an understatement!
While Naples has often had difficulties dealing with overflowing landfills and people dumping trash on the streets, the situation has gradually worsened over the last few years and reached a crisis point in May when collectors stopped picking up the garbage, simply because there was nowhere left to put it. As a result, residents took matters into their own hands and started burning hundreds of piles of trash, releasing a cocktail of potentially toxic vapors.
You can read more about it here and here … *sigh* And for us Malaysians to think that the ‘angmoh’ Europeans are better and more developed than us - my arse!
Pointless Place To BEE
If you feel a senseless need to share your good deals, restaurants, fun and crazy places with your friends then you should check out Namao - the place to bee. Whatever.
